Sparing a Thought for Others: Empathy

I remembered once I was at KFC witnessing a 4-5yrs old displaying empathy. This boy was misbehaving at his table and overturned a packet of French fries onto the floor. The mum instructed a time-out by getting the boy to face the wall. When the staff who was in her 60s came to clean the mess, the mum asked the boy to turn around and looked at the mess he had created. Most importantly, the mum gently lectured the boy about the inconvenience he had caused, not just upsetting his mum but also troubled the granny to clean up his act. The boy took initiative to apologize to the staff and the mum without reminder. This is definitely a successful case whereby the mother had taught the concept of empathy at such young age.

Teaching empathy is the art of understanding another's feeling or situation. Not easy to teach but can be done.

There was another incident that hit me hard when I was waiting for the doctor; a family of 4 came into the clinic few years ago. The daughter, a P2-3 gal in her school uniform with a tie, was playing with her sister who is around 4-5 years old. The nurse came and distributed 2 stickers to the gals. The older gal received the one with a big golden star while the younger child was given a sticker that was filled with multiple, small iridescent stars. The younger gal was making a big fuss about her sticker coz she didn't like it and insisted in having her older sister's one. Instead of giving in to her request, the older gal taught the younger gal to appreciate her gift. She explained the value of the gift and showed her that her sticker was even more beautiful and attractive as compared to her sticker with only one star. I was really taken aback by what this gal has said... This gal at such young age is displaying a strong sense of appreciation for another while inculcating the same value of being grateful in her younger sister. The parent has obviously done a wonderful job in bringing out the best in their kids by instilling and nurturing strong values in their children at a very young age.

Start by sharing stories to your baby today. Choose those with strong moral content.

For example, if you are sharing the story on Goldilocks and the 3 bears. Pause at points where Goldilocks ate up the baby bear's porriage and broke its chair. Use this as entry points to teach your child how baby bear will feel when he knew what happened to his food and chair. Act it out if you can to show your child the expression that is connected to the mood. The tearing, crying, whining... Babies and children learn through play and stories which are best act out.

Constantly expose your child to stories also help build comprehension skills at young age while sharpening their senses at the same time.

For my son, he enjoys stories with animal illustrations like Chicken Licken coz there will be the sly fox hiding away in the background. For older kids, get them to locate the fox. Take this time to question the motive of the fox in the story. This helps expose your child to develop understanding of another's intention which is also training empathy.

Just drop me a question here if you need any more examples, clarification or recommendations of books.